Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
