Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
