this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
