So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
