I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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