Can i not drive my cunt home
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
