Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
