Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
