I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
