This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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