butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
