please come you make the beer taste better
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
