And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
