piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
