He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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