I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
