Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
