Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
