I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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