Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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