im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
