Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
