the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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