It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize