i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
