one two three fourrrrnication!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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