Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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