There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
