Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
