My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
