we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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