thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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