D3 body, D1 cock
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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