Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
