i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am one with the molecules
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
