You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
