How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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