Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
