That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
