My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
