Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
