Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
