So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
