looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
