Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
