i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
