quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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