Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
