capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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