I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
