I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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