You made me cry and you don't even care
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You did what with his pubic hair?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
