im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
