Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
