I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
