Apparently you make a good broom.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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