he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize