I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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