Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
