If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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