you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
