he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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