There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
