Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
