Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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